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Picking Your Battles During Divorce

“Pick your battles.” How many times have you heard that as an adult?

Here’s the thing: it’s especially true during divorce. While it seems counterproductive—isn’t divorce a battleground?—when you’re splitting from your spouse, it’s exactly what you need to do. Your San Bernardino divorce lawyer has probably already brought it up (and if he or she hasn’t, brace yourself; it’s coming).

Pick Your Battles? Seriously?

We know that divorce is no picnic. You’re arguing over who gets what, where the kids will spend the bulk of their time, and maybe even where your pets will call home when it’s all over. On top of that, you still have to manage your everyday life; the world doesn’t stop because you’re going through a divorce.

But here’s where the art of negotiation comes in.

By choosing your battles, you have complete control over the outcome of your divorce. No, you don’t really want the drapes your ex picked out (they were hideous, weren’t they?). No, you don’t care what happens to that clunky coffee table that your shins are always bumping in the night. No, you don’t care if your ex keeps the afghan her grandmother knitted for both of you.

In many divorces, though, people are really bent on “winning” it all.

Take half. That’s it. Doesn’t matter what it is, as long as I get half and you don’t get any more than I do.

That’s the wrong attitude.

Divorce and the Art of Negotiation

You know those drapes and that coffee table? They might be a great trade for the flat-screen (and if those don’t clinch it, the afghan certainly will).

Divorce is a negotiation, and any expert negotiator can tell you that you don’t come in with guns blazing. You offer, counter-offer and settle on something that both sides can live with.

Your divorce is like a business transaction. Look at it that way and you’ll definitely be able to walk away with most of what you want.