Divorce can seem like a rocky storm filled with uncharted waters and large obstacles before things calm down again. With every divorce there are issues of child support, child custody, property division and many other contentious issues that will need to be resolved. Before you embark on this journey it is very important that you familiarize yourself with the divorce process so that you can ensure a smooth transition and move on to the next stage in your life.
When filing for divorce it is not about winning
Many people are out to “beat” their spouse in court and they want to come out on top and “win” the case. Unfortunately it is rare for one spouse to get everything that they want and the other spouse to be left with nothing. The court will try to be fair. For example, if one person is awarded sole custody which they wanted, they may not always get the full amount of child support that they were hoping for. Trying to “win” your divorce is futile and it will transform your case into a divorce battle.
Think before you act
When it comes time to make a major, life-changing decision you should never act in haste. These types of decisions should not be made in the heat of the moment. So if you are deciding whether or not to sell the family home or to relocate with the children be sure to think through, consider the consequences and seek legal counsel.
Remember that you kids are caught in the middle
Just because you have filed for divorce does not mean that the children want the other parent out of their lives as well. Children are innocent bystanders when it comes to divorce and when they have to go through an ugly divorce battle they could end up with psychological problems down the road. Keep this in mind and try not to fight or ridicule the other parent in front of the children. Try to encourage them to continue to grow their relationship between them and the other parent because it is usually in their best interests to have both parents actively involved in their lives.
Don’t trust everything you hear
Friends and family may be filling your head with things that they have heard about divorce, but beware of misinformation. Sometimes people tell you things that are false or misleading and you should definitely seek counsel from an experienced attorney rather than believing everything that other people tell you.
Try to see the bigger picture
With divorce it is critical that you keep your eyes looking forward and you do not dwell on things of the past. By obsessing over past hurt and hardship you are only disabling yourself and making it impossible to move forward. If you want to move on to the next stage of your life you will need to look at the bigger picture and don’t let the little things get to you.
Going to court is not always the best option
If your case has to go to trial you will be spending more money and the case will take longer to conclude. Sometimes small issues can take several visits to the court in order to get resolved. Speak with your San Bernardino divorce attorney to learn of alternative ways to get divorced so that you can avoid the costs of going to court.
Learn about all your options
Going to court and fighting the issue at trial is not your only divorce option. There are other divorce methods that can help you reach a resolution in less time with fewer costs to you. These methods include mediation or collaborative divorce. There are many benefits of utilizing a mediator or choosing a collaborative divorce route and they can help you reach the end result with fewer complications.
Make sure you are always open and honest with your divorce lawyer
It is absolutely vital that your attorney is apprised of all the facts in your case so that they can give you appropriate legal advice on how to move forward. If you fail to disclose certain aspects of your case then you are only hindering your chances of success. The same goes with being honest with your spouse. Everything must be disclosed in the divorce agreement and if anything is left out the court could impose penalties upon you.
Make sure you keep all important legal documents and an accurate inventory
of assets and property
When filing for divorce it is not uncommon for people to fight over their assets and furnishings. One person may want the boat and both may want the furniture, or the wife may want all the art that is hanging on the walls. Be sure to keep a running list of all these things in the home, take photographs as evidence if need be. From there you can have all the belongings appraised to find out how much they are worth. Be sure to keep this list and the pictures in a safe place. The same thing goes for any legal documents that you may have. If you have a prenuptial agreement, restraining order or any other legal document be sure to make copies and store them all away.
Go into divorce with realistic expectations
If you want to get your divorce case resolved quickly then you cannot make unreasonable demands in court. Consult a divorce lawyer to find out how California family law applies in your case and find out the possible outcomes that you could be facing.
If you are considering filing for a contested, uncontested or collaborative divorce please do not hesitate to speak with a lawyer from our San Bernardino office. We can help walk you through the process and guide you every step of the way.