If you're a single parent, you may struggle with explaining to your children why their other parent is absent. Kids can have a hard time understanding why two parents wouldn't stay together, and they may feel confused, upset, or angry about the circumstances. This isn't an easy topic to approach with your children, but it's a conversation that will happen eventually. Here are some tips for explaining an absent parent to your kids:
Answer Their Questions Honestly
You don't have to tell your children all the details of their parent's absence, but withholding vital information from them will only make them feel more confused. Try to give answers that are as simple as possible but adequately answer the questions. In many situations, general explanations about how parents sometimes don't get along and are happier living separately are enough to satisfy a young child's curiosity.
Assure Them It's Not Their Fault
Because children's understanding of the world isn't fully developed, they believe that the world revolves around them. This is why it's so common for kids to blame themselves for their absent parent. Your child may ask you if they did something wrong to make their parent go away, so one of the best things you can do is assure them that they're not at fault. Be prepared to repeat this idea many times for months or even years to ensure that your child truly believes it.
Listen To How They Feel
Family issues are tough for adults to deal with. Still, they're even more difficult for children because kids don't yet have the necessary coping skills for feelings of rejection or abandonment. When your child expresses how they feel through their words or behavior, take them seriously. Let them know that they're allowed to feel hurt, and tell them that you feel upset sometimes as well.
Don't Speak Poorly About The Other Parent
Talking poorly about the absent parent can make the situation even more confusing for your child. No matter the circumstances, try to avoid criticizing or disparaging the other parent in front of your kids. As your children get older, they can come to their own conclusions. However, when they're young, hearing negative information about their parent can be emotionally overwhelming.
Telling your children about their absent parent can be a difficult conversation. Approach the topic sensitively, and empathize with how your kids feel. They may ask a lot of questions, and they may struggle to process their emotions. Being clear and honest with them is the best choice, though, as it creates an open line of communication that will help your children feel loved and supported.
If you're going through a divorce, dealing with custody issues, or facing any other family law challenges, you can reach out to the Law Office of Michael R. Young by calling us at (909) 315-4588. Our attorneys are experienced with all aspects of family law and are ready to answer any questions you may have.